Microtrend: Bitchin’ Beanies and Two Finger Tees

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So I think the humble slogan t-shirt is making a serious come back – revamped with fresh slogans, sayings and ‘in’ jokes of a new generation. T-shirts, I guess, are a super quick way for a company to take a cultural trend or idea and interpret it in fashion. I mean all they have to do is print an image on a basic tee and your business is good to go, right? So in a world of box sets, Sharknado, YouTube zelebs and the celebration of the local colloquial in a world of global identity… maybe obscure t-shirts are becoming the figurative (and sometime literal) ‘F*ck You’.

Certainly they tend to have more of a  #zerof*cksgiven bite to em too versus their older brothers. Oh, and this time, they’ve returned with a sidekick – the slogan beanie (though this is kinda a girls only thing at the mo).

So from looking around the fashion interweb, I’ve gathered a few basic ‘how to wear rules’:

Screen Shot 2014-10-14 at 02.59.471. Don’t put two slogans (i.e. t-shirt and beanie) together you will look like a complete tool. Do you want to go around like a giant weird signpost that says something like “I hate basic bitches… shine bright like a diamond?” Yeah, didn’t think so.

2. Hipsters love super obscure t-shirts. “What do you mean you haven’t heard of this band? They were like, amaaazing at [insert obscure festival consisting of 20 people here].”Avoid at all cost. Try and get something that’s in the common verby-batum at least amongst your posse.

3. Don’t do emojis – it’ll be here and gone (on clothes) in the speed of an internet ice-bucket challenge. 👌 ? And on that note…

4. If you’re buying something that references an internet phenomenon this year, remember this weeks’ ‘You Poked My Heart’ will be next weeks Gangnam Style.. so buy super cheap, if at all.

5. Ruder the better… but I think if you’re over like, 16 maybe avoid any ‘bland’ rude stuff. What do you mean Rachel? *Sigh* I don’t know but for some reason ‘F*CK YOU’ in black and white on a beanie on a 30 year old seems very very wrong. However, ‘F*CK YOU’ on a neon-pink beanie that’s stitched in green sequins seems vaguely OK? Maybe it’s because as you get older you need to develop more elaborate ways to insult people… I dunno. Screen Shot 2014-10-14 at 03.05.54

6. Avoid the Irish obvious. You know what I’m talking about – the stuff about immersions, missing mass. Yes we get it, we liked wafers with ice-cream and our mammies had funny phrases but It’s just not funny no mores. You’ll be like that tall guy at the festival with the ‘hilarious’ t-shirt that lingers around fun groups cause his actual mates ‘lost’ him. Nobody wants to be that dude. Screen Shot 2014-10-14 at 03.01.42

7. Make em yourself… why not? All else fails, why not just get all ‘etsy-scissorhands’ on the whole thing. Despite our best efforts, there still aren’t enough Father Ted references in the world on a daily basis anyway – so knock yourself out Krazy Crayola Kings.

Beanie: $7.99 from Necessary Clothing

Winterfell Tee: €19.92 from Red Bubble

New F*ckin’ York Tee: was from hem I think but all the clothing’s gone now.. anybody? Boo hoo!

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