Trending: ‘Not Mad about it Boy’ – the New Bridget Jones (Review)

 

Bridget Jones is back with a bang… and that bang was the sound of me throwing the Kindle against the wall. Finished ‘Mad about the Boy’ last night,

  • Vaguely funny moments: 2
  • Irritated/angry moments: 24
  • Cigarettes: 3 (in rebellion)
  • Hours sleep I’m working with today after reading: 5

Don’t get me wrong – I know I was never the target market (was I?) and as a ‘feminist’ (one day that’ll stop being a dirty word) I’ve always harboured a deep seeded dislike for this 90s ‘heroine’. There’s no point even getting into the reasons is there? We all know them – the life revolving around romance, the obsession with weight… blah blah blah. But like I imagine many people out there, I was curious about what happened to Bridget in 2013. Was she on Twitter? Did she attempt crispy kale? Did she watch Downton or House of Cards? What was her take on the new anti-smoking society?

Well I’ll save you some time (spoiler warning):

  1. Darcy is gone. Very gone. Dead in fact.
  2. Bridget is rich
  3. Bridget is skinny
  4. Bridget has a 29 year old boyfriend
  5. Bridget doesn’t smoke
  6. Bridget has two lovely children
  7. Bridget has what sounds like a mansion, a nanny and ‘help’  and despite all this…
  8. Bridget is still complaining about life, a lot.
  9. Bridget still isn’t a very good friend
  10. Bridget is a selfish mother.
  11. Bridget reads Grazia
  12. Bridget still can’t be the grown up in the relationship with her own mother.

There is nothing remotely redeemable about this charachter any more. And maybe it’s a personal sore point because I’m not ‘in’ on it, but is bloody everyone a skinny non-smoker anymore?! Just what was going through the author’s head when she decided that?

The only good thing I have of the list above is the great friends (and a job I love, but careers are only pauses while waiting for baby making in the world of Bridget so apparently that’s discounted). And she’s pissed. How much of a loser am I supposed to feel like?!

But aside from all of this, there was one thing that annoyed me more than anything listed here and that was the question of age.

Bridget is over 50.

Maybe I’m really lucky but the women I know that are over 50 are fabulous. Whether perpetually single, divorced, or married 30+ years, they all have a well defined sense of self, a confidence, a creativity and a wonderful ability to reinvent themselves, throw themselves into things and say whatever they want with a devil-may-care attitude. They have interests – like yoga, gardening, hard liquor, art, travelling to the far flung corners of the earth, house music and perving on Jamie Oliver. But Bridget is still the same insecure, unsure and shallow person she always was.

Maybe the over 50 confidence-in-your-own-madness only happens to some people. And it would be a big mistake to believe that an ‘older person’s mind’ is automatically transplanted into your brain one night while you sleep, when you hit a certain age…

but is the head space of Bridget Jones all I have to look forward to in the fabulous 50s?

Christ, that’s depressing.

Think I need a fag and a drink.

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